insomnia | The Audioblog

Title: This Audiobook Will Send You To Sleep
Author: Professor K. McCoy and Dr Hardwick
Narrator: Bruce Alexander

Have you been itching to listen to an audiobook that’s more boring than watching paint dry? We’ve got just the thing! This Audiobook Will Send You To Sleep by Professor K. McCoy and Dr Hardwick is so boring, even the most caffeine-induced night owl will be sure to fall asleep after just a few short, colorless chapters. Some of the chapters include The Economic Statistics from the First Two Five-Year Plans in the Soviet Union. Another is Railway Gauges: An Overview. Even if these subjects sound mildly interesting to you, it is explained in such dull terms that you’ll be fighting to keep your eyes open.

Professor K. McCoy, a specialist in the analysis of hypnotic states and somnambulism (sleepwalking) and Dr Hardwick, an expert in stereotypical lethargy, wrote the book to help people achieve a desirable state of mind (boredom, lassitude, and disinterest) to fall asleep.

Narrator Bruce Alexander does a phenomenal job of remaining monotone throughout the audiobook, pausing frequently and sleepily. He succeeds in making the measurement of linear density of fibre, administrative bureaucracy of the Byzantine Empire, and Belgian political crisis even less exciting than one might have originally imagined. Due to the staleness of these subjects and danger of falling asleep, I do not recommend anyone listen to this audiobook while driving or cooking with the stove on.

If counting sheep and aromatherapy just aren’t cutting it for you anymore, listen to This Audiobook Will Send You To Sleep and get the best sleep of your life. Even if you don’t, at least you’ll be well-versed in the growth pattern of holly and recent developments in the taxonomy of molluscs.