beyoncé | The Audioblog

Title: I Can’t Date Jesus
Author: Michael Arceneaux
Narrator: Michael Arceneaux

Equally hilarious as it is heartbreaking, Michael Arceneaux’s I Can’t Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I’ve Put My Faith in Beyoncé will become your new bible and saving grace.

Raised by a raging father and disapproving but well-meaning mother, Arceneaux’s life as a gay, black, sensitive man is made that much harder. His complex feelings with the religion that saved his mother gnaws at their fragile relationship as he navigates dating men who take advantage of his kindness. Desperately wanting to find his place in the world, Arceneaux’s journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance is bold, beautiful, and darkly humorous.

“clearly rusty on how to enter a church, much less one of this size, I grabbed my wallet and was about to pull out my ID to show it to the usher that stood before the doors. Yes, as if he were a club bouncer. Yes, as if I were trying to get in free before eleven and rush to the bar to enjoy that two-for-one drinks special.”

I laughed out loud so many times while listening to this audiobook that I often had to pause it and repeat the lines to those nearby. What made it even richer was hearing it in Arceneaux’s own voice. If you choose to read this book rather than listen to it, you’ll miss out on experiencing the extent of his unflappable humor and talent for storytelling. He also does an excellent job of educating the public about Beyoncé in a way that will send the Beyhive swarming with joy.

“A Beytheist is someone who denies the splendor of Beyoncé. I don’t get people like that… I’ve developed a rule to stop dating men who dislike Beyoncé. I have tried to respect other people’s religious beliefs, but sometimes the biases you develop are well-earned.“

Can I get an amen?