‘The Office’ Characters As Audiobooks

15 years ago, the now-beloved employees of Dunder Mifflin were introduced to the world. In celebration of the show’s anniversary and in true Audiobooks.com fashion, we’ve imagined what each character’s audiobook counterpart would be.

Here are 9 fantastic audiobooks to dive into to channel your favorite character from The Office.

Michael Scott

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, narrated by Andrew Macmillan

It’s no secret that Michael Scott wants to be loved more than anything else, but he’s not really sure how to go about it. How to Win Friends and Influence People is not the audiobook that Michael is, but the audiobook Michael Scott should strive to be. Dale Carnegie’s classic principles are all about how to create meaningful relationships, which is something Michael certainly yearns for but doesn’t yet know how to achieve. Hopefully, with a little help from Dale Carnegie, Michael will finally achieve his age-old adage of “I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

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Jim Halpert

How to Be a Footballer by Peter Crouch, narrated by Peter Crouch

Besides both being freakishly tall, Jim Halpert and Peter Crouch know how to make work fun. Just like Jim, Crouch finds much joy in the humorous aspects of his job, and his autobiography How to Be a Footballer divulges funny anecdotes from his 20+ year career. Both Jim and Crouch don’t take themselves too seriously but are very adept at what they do, with Jim being promoted to co-manager and eventually starting his own business and Peter enjoying stints with Liverpool and the Spurs. No matter if your work life is wrapped up in the craziness of your boorish boss or the wacky extravagance of your teammates, both men have figured out that having a healthy sense of humor is imperative to making their jobs that much more enjoyable.

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Pam Beesly

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane, narrated by Madeline Gould

Three things I feel when I think of Pam Beesly: affection, pride, and a little frustration. Incidentally, these are the same feelings I felt with Mhairi McFarlane’s Don’t You Forget About Me, which gets into all sorts of hilarity and heartache when spunky Georgina Horspool ends up working for her high school flame, Lucas McCarthy. The two then proceed to dance around their feelings for each other for 10 hours and 18 minutes. Sound familiar? Aside from eliciting lots of weepy emotions from me, I saw a lot of Pam in Georgina. Much like the artistically-inclined Pam, Georgina harbors a love for writing, and it’s through her craft that she asserts herself and learns to love her faults. So, for anyone daring to brave the emotional rollercoaster that is Don’t You Forget About Me, beware: there’s a couple you can’t help but fall for and, most importantly, a charming young woman you’ll never stop rooting for.

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Dwight Schrute

How to Stay Alive: The Ultimate Survival Guide for Any Situation by Bear Grylls, narrated by Ralph Lister

It’s clear that aside from fantasy worlds, Dwight’s other all-consuming passion is survival. He’s talked at length about his superior immune system, tactics for self-preservation, and he himself is a compendium of military strategy, weapons expertise, martial arts, and espionage. So, of course, he would find his audiobook counterpart in Bear GryllsHow to Stay Alive, which is hailed as the ultimate outdoor survival tome. Although whether or not Dwight actually needs tips from Bear remains to be seen, seeing as he was more than capable of taking care of himself during Michael’s Survivor Man stunt (unfortunately the same can’t be said for Michael).

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Andy Bernard

Trust Exercise by Susan Choi, narrated by Adina VersonJennifer LimSuehyla El-Attar

If anyone was ever wildly thrown off by how their life turned out, it’s probably Andy Bernard. The whiplash Andy felt about his whole life is exactly what you’ll be feeling while listening to Trust Exercise by Susan Choi. Don’t assume anything, don’t try to predict anything. It will inevitably turn out much more shocking and complex than you expect it to. The best we can hope for is that through all the turmoil, we will—much like Andy—be able to cobble together some semblance of understanding by the end.

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Phyllis Vance

How to Knit a Murder by Sally Goldenbaum, narrated by Julie McKay

Knitting, mystery, and past secrets—can Sally Goldenbaum’s How to Knit a Murder be more Phyllis Vance? Aside from the shared connection to knitting, Phyllis and How to Knit a Murder’s newcomer, Rose Malone, are both somewhat of an enigma. Although on the surface Phyllis seems wholesome and quiet, she’s been known to show her vindictive side, and her meek demeanor masks a sensual woman who is very much in touch with her sexuality. That, coupled with a mysterious secret that she’s harbored since high school, makes Phyllis—much like How to Knit a Murder—a wholesome mystery with a bit of a bite.

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Stanley Hudson

Thinking Inside the Box: Adventures with Crosswords and the Puzzling People Who Can’t Live Without Them by Adrienne Raphel, narrated by Adrienne Raphel

No stuttering here! Thinking Inside the Box and Stanley Hudson are simply a match made in heaven (if heaven was made of tropical beach shirts and bright red convertibles).

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Angela Martin (a.k.a. Voodoo Mama Juju)

Hex Your Ex: And 100+ Other Spells to Right Wrongs and Banish Bad Luck for Good by Adams Media, narrated by Nancy Linari

I know what you’re thinking—Angela Martin wouldn’t be caught dead with any associations with witchcraft. BUT, if there’s one thing Angela is, she is cunning. Hex Your Ex is the dark version of Angela we all want to see but are too scared to imagine. With her obvious attraction to power and inclination to manipulate people for her own gains, it’s clear Angela doesn’t even need witchcraft to get what she wants. For those who don’t have Angela’s stern influence, however, we’ll have to rely on the edgy spells and rituals in Hex Your Ex to get everything our heart desires.

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Oscar “Actually” Martinez

Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World—and Why Things Are Better Than You Think by Anna Rosling RonnlundOla RoslingHans Rosling, narrated by Richard Harries

As a proud member of the Coalition for Reason, it’s only fitting that Oscar Martinez’s audiobook counterpart is Factfulness, an audiobook that is all about teaching listeners how to see the world as it truly is. Much like how Oscar inserts himself into random conversations to add facts or correct grammar, Factfulness inserts itself into our unconscious biases and upends how we think of the world. Think of it like having a tiny Oscar living in your phone or tablet, telling you how to see logic and reason amidst the chaos.

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STAFF PICK: Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

This month I chose a challenging read titled, Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.

Heart of Darkness audio book by Joseph Conrad

It’s a classic story which takes place in the heart of the Congo and describes the trials and tribulations of the ivory trade. A man is sent on a quest to go and recover another man who is famous in the ivory trade at the time.

It’s an interesting concept for a story, but I struggled mightily to get through it. There were abundant accounts where atrocious abuse of alliteration threw me for quite a loop. Concentration had to be at a maximum because even a small lapse in focus made me miss what felt like an eternity of the story and get completely lost. The author doesn’t clearly explain who people were and at times, figuring out who was speaking was impossible. The vast amounts of dialogue coupled with limited details offering any context around these conversations made following the story often seem hopeless.

The narrator was, in my opinion, very poor.  He read at a very quick pace and his tonality was off.  I felt as if I was listening to a pirate dictate an over-dramatic movie trailer.  Because the story was all over the place and the narrator didn’t do a good job of conveying emotion, I didn’t connect with this audiobook in the same way I have with others in the past.  Associating myself with the protagonist was difficult as he never really went into detail about any of the events or discussed his feelings.

I feel like this novel would be a challenge to get through regardless of whether you listen to it in audio or read it on paper.  It’s a good thing that it’s short because I can guarantee that it will take at least two full read-throughs to get the full gist of the book.

Let me know your thoughts!